Councils are busting myths about who can foster.
Among the rain-swept exhibitors at UK Pride in Portsmouth in early June was a city council delegation from Foster Portsmouth.
Armed with rainbow fluffy-bug giveaways and nestling under a bright pink canopy, the team – together with Southampton City Council and Hampshire County Council, its Fostering South East partners – was there to celebrate its foster carers from the LGBTQ+ community, and to raise awareness of the need for more of them.
This work included busting myths around who can foster, highlighting that anyone aged over 21 with a spare bedroom could foster, regardless of their age, gender, sexuality, faith, ethnicity, marital or work status, or whether they rent or own their own home.
Councillor Nick Dorrington (Lib Dem), Cabinet Member for Children, Families and Education at Portsmouth City Council, said: “Foster Portsmouth celebrates the diversity of our committed team of foster carers, and we are all proud to work with many individuals and couples from the LGBTQ+ community.”
Foster Portsmouth also presented at ‘LGBTQ+ routes to parenthood’, an event organised by UK Pride and the Parenting Network (a local third-sector organisation providing family support services across Hampshire) to help identify pathways to parenthood within the LGBTQ+ community. Attendees were offered expert insights, lived experiences, and an opportunity to connect with community members and support networks.
“More than 10 per cent of fostering households in Carmarthenshire are part of the LGBTQ+ community, highlighting the inclusivity of its foster care network”
Portsmouth is one of many councils that has been using June’s Pride Month, and other annual events, to encourage more people from the LGBTQ+ community to consider fostering.
Foster Wales Carmarthenshire used LGBTQ+ Fostering and Adoption Week in March to recognise the invaluable contributions of its LGBTQ+ foster carers, and to highlight its offer of free gold membership to New Family Social, a charity providing LGBTQ+ specific support, advice and networking.
As of February 2025, more than 10 per cent of fostering households in Carmarthenshire are part of the LGBTQ+ community, highlighting the diversity and inclusivity of its foster care network.
Cllr Jane Tremlett (Ind), Carmarthenshire’s Cabinet Member for Adult Social Services and Children and Families, said: “LGBTQ+ foster carers make an invaluable contribution to fostering, offering children and young people a safe and nurturing environment where they can feel accepted. We welcome people from all backgrounds, and our goal is to ensure that all children and young people in foster care have the right support they need to succeed.”
‘Diversity is a strength’
The struggles LGBTQ+ people have been through can be a positive when it comes to taking on the challenge of fostering children and young people.
So says Dee Constantine, a Fostering Recruitment Officer at Southampton City Council, who has been recruiting foster carers for almost three years.
“LGBTQ+ people go through so much about their identity, and understanding and thriving in that identity,” says Dee, who is trans.
“Children in care will have difficulties with their identity because they’ve been through that trauma, which makes it hard to connect and to belong – and that’s something LGBTQ+ people will know inside out and be able to offer support with.
“That’s not to say there aren’t other people who will have also gone through those struggles, but it is something that is so prevalent in our community.
“Sometimes, people think that their struggles can be a negative for fostering – but, in reality, knowing that you have that resilience is really positive.”
With their colleagues from South East Fostering, Dee routinely attends regional Pride events and works with local charities and community groups to encourage more LGBTQ+ people to consider fostering – but they say the ‘myth’ that LGBTQ+ people can’t foster or adopt persists, particularly among the older generation.
LGBTQ+ people have been able to adopt or foster since the Adoption and Children Act 2002, which came into effect in 2005.
Other perceived barriers to fostering can include some of the processes involved – for example, the requirement to provide a family reference, which may be difficult if LGBTQ+ people have lost family and friends when coming out or transitioning.
Dee says it’s usually possible to find a cousin or aunt, but that fostering services will respond sensitively and flexibly – and can help develop networks of community support for LGBTQ+ foster carers who may not be able to fall back on family in case of an emergency, or for day care or respite for their foster child.
For example, Dee and their partner, who is also trans, are working towards becoming part of a support network around LGBTQ+ friends who are fostering, as part of their own path to becoming foster carers.
“For everyone, regardless of who you are, going through a fostering assessment can feel very invasive. The key thing I would say is that it’s completely non-judgemental,” says Dee.
“We are just there to explore how to support people to be the best foster carer they can be, and to make sure we are keeping our children safe.
“We know we need foster carers from all different types of backgrounds, because we have children from all different types of backgrounds. We know that diversity strengthens us and strengthens our ability to help children thrive.”
Reasonable adjustments
As employers, councils can support staff to foster by discussing and agreeing ‘reasonable adjustments’ to their working day.
Sarah (not her real name) has worked for Portsmouth City Council for 24 years in a regulatory role. She outlines how her employer has helped her to foster and keep working.
My partner and I – she’s a primary school teacher – talked for a long time about having children, and eventually decided to foster.
I had always wanted to foster, as I was fostered for some of my childhood and it was a good experience.
My foster carers showed me what life should be like: you get up, you have breakfast, you go to school, maybe you have cookies as a treat afterwards or you do some gardening or go out, you have a regular bedtime, and there is a bed. It was about realising that’s normal for most people, and that what we were living through wasn’t normal and that you should never accept it.
We have been fostering for 13 years, with children aged four to 16, and we currently have a 14-year-old girl, for whom there are safeguarding issues – she can’t go out unattended. These are very traumatised children living in unbearable situations. Fostering is about giving them stability, so they know you are consistent, and always there and reliable above all else. No matter what, you will always show up – and that’s what makes the difference.
What’s made that possible is having a ‘reasonable adjustments passport’ from work, which says ‘this is how I’m going to manage my workload around my kid’. I can get to the meetings I need to attend, but I don’t need to be physically in the same room; I can work flexibly at home.
For example, my partner’s school is in the opposite direction to our child’s, so I do the school run – so I can’t attend meetings at those times; I do them between 10am and 2pm, and work at other times when they are home.
The crucial thing is not just the employer, but also your line manager understanding what your life is about – and that there is trust between you.
Fostering really does make a difference. All the children we have fostered have gone back to their families in one form or another, or gone back to a relationship with their family that is better – and we have had a massive input into that, and that’s why we carry on.
We were able to support our child to attend a Pride event as they identify as non-binary, and we were able to talk about the history of Pride and what it means to have that freedom of expression today.
- Names have been changed to protect the identities of children